returning to routine

sigh i hate getting back on track.

i'm sorry, i know i shouldn't say that because i really need to get back in the bootcamp but i have to say, it seems just so much easier to just keep on my current bingebingepurgebingebingebinge lifestyle.

but i know i'll hate the scale and i'll hate myself so i need to go back to the rules and get back to where i was

is it bad that i secretly hope i'll get sick soon? i mean, something like 52% of people in my area are expected to get swine flu this fall/winter. yes it's lazy and unhealthy but man i would love to just get really sick and drop a shit ton of weight in a week because i don't feel up to eating. i never "don't feel up to eating". i'm ALWAYS up to eating, hence my problem. ah well. i've currently got a sore throat from purging last night which has made eating a little uncomfortable today.

unfortunately, it's made me want ice cream. a lot. maybe i can start getting back on track tomorrow...

no. ruby, you must stay strong!

i did hot yoga today, which was great at helping me reset. and i've stayed within the rules today, even though i had some cheese around 4 and i probably shouldn't have had the dairy as late in the day as i did.

overall, i did decent. i've found that i lose more weight if i don't keep an exact count of calories, but i know i've been around 500-600 cals today and considering hot yoga burns around ~700 cals, i'm feeling like maybe i've started atoning for all my food sins.

oh and of course, have i mentioned lately how extremely flattered i am that i have so many new followers? i really am, especially since i'm fairly certain that like eighty percent of my posts are barely coherent. so thank you, all followers (new and old)! you're all so wonderful and inspiring and i couldn't do this without you!

xoxo,

rubes

p.s. this is my 50th post! i should have some ice cream to celebrate...NO! EFF! hahaha