STANDOFF: DAY TWO

well, i didn't binge last night. thanks to Olivia*Obsessed's comment, really. i was feeling sorry for myself and all alone and I thought "if no one in this nice big community has left me a single comment, fuck it i'm eating a box of graham crackers." but lo and behold, there was a comment left for little old me. and she was right! i would have totally felt like shit if i had binged, especially after i'd done a decent job navigating the thai food nightmare (it helps when the restaurant accidentally mucks up your order--gives me an excuse to eat less).

but of course, as i'm sitting in the kitchen, feeling so sick to my stomach because i just chugged two huge glasses of water, my sister comes in. and what does she have?

cinnamon.fucking.toast.fucking.crunch.

now i know she had no idea what was going on in my head. she doesn't have an ED (at least not that i know of though sometimes she shows signs of one) so when her tummy says "i'm hungry and cinnamon toast crunch sounds good." she can go with that. and i honest to god envy her for that sometimes. instead i'm sitting at the computer listening to that almost cartoonish CRUNCH noise of her eating the cereal and wanting to cry. or binge. probably in reverse order, honestly.

but i didn't binge again last night. i knew that i hadn't worked out very long yesterday and i knew that the thai food calorie amounts were dubious at best and that it was just better to be miserable for one night and maintain my weight than miserable tomorrow morning when i hop on the scale.

still staying stead at around 112. hope hot yoga today will help push me towards 111.5 at least. i've been feeling tired and sore since i finished the routine at around 11 and unfortunately, something popped in my hip about ten minutes into class so that has been kind of hurting now too.

but oh well, the things we must suffer for perfection.

i'm super excited to try out my new exercise dvd though! it's the jillian michael's "banish fat, boost metabolism" workout and though i've never seen the biggest loser, i know this chick is hardcore and apparently this dvd is a killer. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...

so hopefully, once i've recovered from the overwhelming pain it will undoubtedly cause me, i'll be slim and sexy since it claims you can lose 5 pounds a week (yeah right)

sigh i wish i could say the urge to binge has passed. but it really hasn't. i know this may be whiny and selfish, but again, support would be much appreciated.

xoxo,

rubes