beau soir

happy 09/09/09 everyone!

so apparently numerologists believe that the number nine is the number for confession and forgiveness (since it's the last number, you want to get it all out of the way before the end, i guess). so that makes today forgiveness in some weird way. so i know some of you have been pretty damn hard on yourselves about intakes (or outtakes) so to that i say:

forgive yourself.

i'm the queen of not cutting myself any slack. i'm almost impossibly hard on myself (while i tend to give everyone else in the world every single reason to excuse their mistakes). and i could go into what years of therapy have unearthed about this fact, but that's not something anyone else would probably care to hear. frankly, i think of talking about stuff i've learned in therapy as being akin to talking about a weird dream last night. it's only interesting to me and generally it's really fucking boring to everyone else.

so anyway, hello to my five new followers! five in ONE day! if you people aren't careful, i'm going to start thinking you may actually like me...

today was a pretty good day. well, i mean, after i recovered from taking a ton of laxatives and spending a little too much quality time with the porcelain god(dess). went to the gym, came home, mom actually really wanted to do yoga/pilates so i didn't have to sneak in another dvd workout (though i should have done one a little more rigorous). had breakfast. went grocery shopping for the fam. made dinner. my mom had decided on a recipe i suggested but then i realized that it wasn't going to work, so i kind of made up my own recipe. it's always a little nerve-wracking when i do this, but everyone seemed to really like it! and i chopped up some red potatoes, zucchini, and squash, drizzled olive oil and put some salt on them and baked them in the oven and it was REALLY yum! and not bad calorie-wise at all (though i totally avoided the potatoes).

overall, i think i did a decent job. i've decided that i should keep having KIND bars for lunch. i think they stabilize my blood sugar a bit more than just an apple and some cheese do, so i'm letting myself have them, even if they're a bit high in calories. okay, let's do this:

• cantaloupe: 60 cals
• egg white omelet: 45 cals
• KIND bar: 190 cals (mmm cranberry almond yumminess)
• apple: ~70 cals (didn't finish it)
• mushroom burger: 90 cals
• roasted veggies: ~60 cals
• apple: ~70 cals (didn't finish it)

total: ~585 cals

• 30 mins elliptical: 300 cals
• 30 mins treadmill (walking): 110 cals
• yoga/pilates dvd: ~100 cals

total: ~510 cals

total for today: ~75 cals

so not my finest day but good. considering i resisted graham crackers AND peanut butter AND cinnamon toast crunch.

my parents go out of town tomorrow which means i'll have the house to myself ALL DAY until sister dear comes home from work. and i must say i'm really dreading it being just the two of us until monday, but i'm going to try to keep my distance and keep my head up.

so i bought some new pajamas for my trip to see my boyfriend...and they're kind of my thinspiration right now since i want to look HOT

 

i'm very glad they don't show you what it would look like on a model because i'd feel too huge to every buy them since i know i would NEVER look like any of those gorgeous girls.

but aren't they CUTE?? i'm so excited for them. AND i get my hair cut tomorrow. which i totally love but never let myself do because i always feel guilty for spending the money. but honestly, it's such a mood lift to get a great new hair cut. and sometimes it's just nice to get to do something just for me.

time for me to respond to comments (yaaaaay for actually having comments to respond to!)

elle x, i take laxatives usually in the afternoon when i've been binging. they usually start working in the middle of the night or early morning which can be horrendously painful. but inevitably, once i get through it all, i feel better. i definitely DO NOT recommend using them often and i try to avoid them at all costs. they are NOT a good habit, they can be really painful, and can lose their effectiveness fairly quickly.

CA, girlie, your blog is fantastic! and you know, a little indulgence is totally good for you so LOVE that cake, missy!

alright lovelies, like so many other people on these blogs right now, i'm totally obsessing over supersize vs. superskinny on youtube. it's disgusting and yet awesome. so i'm going to go watch it and NOT go eat stuff i want to.

stay strong gorgeouses! and remember, FORGIVE!!

xoxo,

rubes