namaste

well i binged last night. i knew it was coming. i could feel it. and i really tried hard to avoid it, i smoked two cigarettes, i drank a ton of water, but i wound up having some cinnamon toast crunch, half an english muffin, and some ritz crackers, and two glasses of milk. my stomach was hurting so bad. but i didn't purge (mainly because i was scared of seeing blood again).

my adorable nephew stayed the night so my mom was up early with him. unfortunately, this meant the dog had to sleep in my room (since my nephew's crib is in my mom's room) and she decided that six a.m. would be a great time to start scratching on her crate and whining until she was let out. so i've been up since six. with three cups of coffee and a cup of peppermint tea. can we say major crash soon?

however, since i was already up and i knew i'd been a bad bad girl the past two days, i decided to kick my own ass and do an hour and a half of hot yoga. i used to do hot yoga a ton (or bikram yoga as it is also called). if you're not familiar with it, you basically do a series of poses in a heated room. like we're talking 98-105 degrees hot. it basically allows your muscles to warm up faster (obviously) so you're more flexible, as well as encourages your body to sweat out impurities. it can also be a lot harder because you're all slippery with sweat in no time (gross, i know). so i went to that, and it was a power yoga class, which means less teacher instruction, less breaks, and a little more intense. i was pretty nervous since i haven't done it since december or january but i figured since i've been doing yoga dvds i could handle it. and oh my god it felt so so good. the teacher even pointed me out as a good example! granted, we were only doing an easy pose, but STILL!! so i did that, came home, read some very sweet comments (thank you so so much, you've made me feel eons better), and decided to calculate how much i'd burned.

780 calories.

oh. em. gee.

thank GOD!! this makes me feel AWESOME about the rest of the day! granted, i'm still going to be super strict on myself and NOT binge again tonight, but my goal is to burn at least 500 cals everyday and i totally did it! AND my mom wants to do some yoga with me tonight which means around another 90-100 calories! YES!

unfortunately, sister dear is in an absolute shit mood because i worked out without her. but TOO BAD, because i'm feeling good and nothing she says is going to change that right now.

i also decided, as a little bit of extra motivation, to wear my "skinny jeans" today. i haven't worn them in forever since my other pair of jeans, which is a size larger, has been a little too fitting around the thighs. and yes i had to do that awkward shimmy to get into these, and there may be a bit of spillage at the top, but it's concealable and having it press a little on my stomach is reminding me NOT to eat. so i feel pretty proud of myself for today.

i keep looking at the clock expecting it to be later than it is. does anyone else ever have that happen to them when they get up super early? i start feeling like the stuff i did when i first woke up happened on another day. this happens especially if i take a nap after getting up really early. but i shouldn't nap today, unless i start getting really hungry.

okay, i must be careful. i must be good. i think i might go to the mall later. nothing inspires a girl quite like seeing all those beautiful clothes. le sigh.

but for now, i'm going to lie in bed and watch a movie. indiscreet, in case you were wondering. oh ingrid bergman was GORGEOUS and cary grant is...well, cary grant. i mean, do i really have to say anything else?

stay strong lovelies! chins up, weights down!

xoxo,

rubes!