control control control

there's something so divine about willpower. i told myself what i had to do today. i held myself accountable by writing it out on here. and now, it's 9 p.m. and i feel i've done well. am i being repetitive by evaluating today again? maybe. but it's also a nice little treat to see what i can make myself do when i focus:

• 2 egg white omelet plus 1 tbsp skim milk: 45 cals
• fresh cantaloupe: 40 cals (approx)
• 10 grapes: 30 cals
• 2 cups coffee: 0 cals
  
• 1 KIND bar: 150 cals
• granny smith apple: 80 cals
• 1 cup tomato soup: 110 cals
• mushroom veggie burger: 90 cals
• lettuce: 10 cals
• 10 grapes: 30 cals
• 1 spoonful unsweetened apple sauce: 8 cals (no idea, just guessing)
• peppermint tea: 0 cals

total: 593 cals

• 30 mins elliptical: 300 cals
• 20 mins treadmill: 75 cals
• exercise dvd: ~200 cals
• 1/2 hour of yoga: ~75 cals
  

total: 625 cals
total calorie intake: -32 cals

so it's possible for me to control myself. god i wanted some peanut butter though. but i said to myself "ruby, you know the time for such indulgences is over. go upstairs and do laundry. you don't deserve a treat." and that's exactly what i did. i feel so good and proud of myself. and tomorrow, i get to get up early and do it all over again. because repetition is what's going to get me to 110. it has to, because i have to be.

i've been toying with the idea of posting some pictures of myself on here. really make myself look at the blob i am. maybe serve as reverse thinspo for someone ;-) anyone want to see what rubix cube looks like? or does the stuff on this site make you sick enough without needing to see me?

xoxo,
rubes