charmer

what is it about night time that seems to magnify my urges to eat? is it that most dark and dirty deeds are done under the cover of the night? is it that i know i'm doing something wrong every time i sneak down stairs and stare at that bag of oreos so i feel that i should be as underhanded about it as possible? is it the awareness that after dinner, i'm done for the night and that the hours must now stretch in front of me with the awareness that i have no more options to look forward to? that now i must begin my fast until at least 12 hours later (if not more)?

it's comforting to at least know that i'm not the only one who feels a gravitational pull towards the kitchen when the sun goes down. maybe i'm like some sick vampire, drawn to the life's blood of carbs and treats instead of humans.

...or maybe i should stop watching true blood repeats...

i wish people would stop leaving the pantry door open. it's true, out of sight out mind. and the more i can see all those yummy yummy treats, the more i want them, even if i'm not all that starving right now. studies have shown that the more food put in a person, the more they will eat, even if they're not all that hungry. the first time i ever went out to eat with my boyfriend, when i was full i put a napkin over my food so i wouldn't keep picking at it. i'll never forget the look on his face as he said "did...it die?" and then offered to perform a eulogy for my fallen french fries.

anyway, decent day. i got up and went to the gym and did another dvd. those diet pills (relacor, by the way) are doing a pretty great job, i'd say. i'm still not getting as constantly hungry and i can put off eating a lot easier.

today i had:

• LUNA bar: 180 cals
• green apple: 80 cals
• rice cake: 35 cals
• hard boiled egg white: 17 cals
• carrots: 35 cals
• mushroom veggie burger with ketchup: 105 cals
  
• cucumber: 30 cals
• 5 grapes: 15 cals
  

total: 497 cals

well i managed to keep it under 500 today, which i am pretty sure i haven't done in a while. maybe this well help me get further away from 114 and closer to my ultimate dream goal of 108. i know i won't get that low by the time i leave for st. louis, but if i can just get past 113 or even down to 110, i'll be thrilled.


so i found this study and thought it might be interesting for everyone. it's about how food can actually control your brain and make you binge! VINDICATION FOR JUNK FOODIES EVERYWHERE!

tonight i'm making cupcakes for my nephew's birthday tomorrow! i can't believe he'll be two! unfortunately, i have no idea how i'm going to get out of eating one of these monster cakes of doom. any ideas/suggestions? it's only going to be like 7 of us, so it's not like i can fade into the crowd and claim i had one. help would be much appreciated!

hope everyone else is doing stunningly and inching ever further towards their goals!

xoxo,

rubes