Friday, October 16, 2009


another failed night at control. maybe i'm just super weak but i swear, it's like i can't make myself get back on track without a goal. halloween was suggested as an option, but to be totally honest, i'm likely to be going as "the girl who stays home to study and gives out the candy" so it's not like i've got a really skimpy costume to wear. plus, the fact that i've been so not good and have still managed to somehow stay around 110 has been a little gratifying. i know, a slip-up could mean a weight gain again so i should really get in control. so today it is, mainly because i'm disgusted with myself for continually letting you guys down. so tonight i'm going to stay in control. i don't want to have to start another blog entry with how i've failed again.

sister dear's temp job ended yesterday so she's back to being at home 24/7. i was so upset and stressed about this that i couldn't even sleep the other night. i loved knowing that she would be gone until 5 every day and now she's here. all. the. time. and so are her mood swings. ugh i'm expecting my stress level to be through the roof by, oh, tuesday.

so far so good today. gym and workout dvd. going shopping with my mom later to find a halloween costume for my nephew! i think he wants to be cookie monster, but he's only two so i'm not entirely sure he understands the concept of dressing up for halloween period. i'm pretty excited about it though!

got some coffee mix to make my own vanilla latte at home. 70 cals per serving, which is 50 less than my much-loved tall soy latte from starbucks. i hope it's good so that's at least one way i can conserve calories. the plan for today is 550 cals or less. it's leftover night tonight so i'm hoping i can get away with just a salad since we won't all be sitting down to dinner together. yaaaaay!

it's cold and dark and rainy here. the kind of day that makes me just want to curl up under a blanket in my sweats. sigh if only i could let myself be that lazy.

i bought these two candles and it's a little sad how happy they make me. one is pumpkin scented, the other is apple. so my room smells like autumn! and, i won't lie, the pumpkin one makes me a little hungry for the iced pumpkin cookies i made the other day, but luckily i gave a bunch of them to my oldest sister and her fam. i like it when self-preservation and kindness work together haha

well i hope everyone is having a wonderful day! stay strong, gorgeouses!



  1. So true about self preservation and kindness! i remember how at school i'd give away anything yummy and people thought i was kind where actually i just wanted to save myself! you CAN get your control back. grab hold and don't let go! :)

  2. oh yeah. that barium sulfide chalk that looks ok, but tastes horrid. so you've had that done, too? how did your appendicitis turn out? were you ok? at least i bet it has WAY less cals than a milkshake! (it damn well better...)

    thank you. i will feel better.

    i absolutely know what you mean about candles. i love to burn them, too.

    have a good day!

  3. Ummm YEAH I totally want my favorite person ever Ruby to hold me accountable! I got your back, girl!

  4. You have some sister issues too! Mine is so annoying. I'm so sick of having to put on a big smile all the time and to have to listen to her stupid not interesting stories!
    Stay strong, you can do this.