::insert noise of frustration here::

so i think i've plateaued.

at 113.

3. fucking. pounds.

so what do i do? i can't eat less, i arouse enough suspicion as it is. exercise it is then. swimming seems like a solid plan. it's easy on my knee and i've got the constant inspiration of just looking down and seeing how bad i look in a bikini. brilliance!

so i went birthday shopping with the mother. do you ever have the problem of seeing something on a hanger and having this idea of what it's going to look like on you, then you try it on and you're horribly disappointed? it happens to me a lot. especially at j.crew. j.crew models are pretty much designed for the sole purpose of making me feel like crap-because it's aaaaaaaallllllllllllll about me, yeah? ;)-they're always skinny and so well-dressed (duh because they're modeling). and i never look anything like them in the same clothes. i have like no torso. the reason why all these girls have such long torsos? they got mine. thieving bitches. anyway, i was kind of excited because i actually fit into a size 2. and it like actually fit, not the usual thing where i suck in and i can feel the fabric slowly burrowing so hard into my skin that soon the corduroy skirt will actually become one with my pudge, i mean it actually fit. i could have probably pushed it and bought a size 0 but it was just so lovely and i wanted to savor the moment.

anysweetbabyjeebusthesethreepoundsmustgo, i also got a horizontal striped top. i love stripes. i really do. i don't know why but i think they're so nice and classic but i always get so nervous wearing them because they can go horribly horribly awry quite easily. see that girl up there? stunning in stripes. however, there's always a chance that there may wind up being a case of stuffed sausage syndome (sss, as it will be henceforth referred) going on with me wearing them. sss is a serious condition and it can afflict millions of people each day. one of the major indicators is when you wear a shirt and one can see the indent of your bellybutton. if you or someone you know is suffering from sss, please contact the care center nearest you. cheers.

7 days officially till my birthday. 7 days to lose these three pounds. probably shouldn't have just binged and purged. sigh. brills. you'd think i'd learn by now.

so i'll be looking to all those brilliant blogs for support. if anyone has any recommendations for thinspo, it would be much appreciated. generally i can just google "mary kate olsen" and get some solid stuff but then other times she looks a bit too much like a troll and it get a bit skeered.

okay lovelies, keep those chins up and those weights down!

xoxo,
rubes