back to business

so i had a lovely birthday with the boyfriend. aside from some really unnecessary and altogether unpleasant drama from sister dear, it was quite fantastic. lots of lovely new clothes which will look smashing once i get rid of this weight and get back on track.

which starts now.

oh my god, i ate so fucking much. i tried so hard but i wound up "indulging" on my birthday. and then again today because the boyfriend was leaving. and guys, it's not pretty. i've thrown up three times already today and just attempted a fourth. my throat hurts so badly. but tomorrow, i'm going to get back to work. i've been doing pilates or yoga videos every morning and tomorrow will be no exception. my plan is:

• usual breakfast
• only grapes/cough drops all day
• fake illness so i can just have some soup for dinner
• fast until bed

if it all works out (and it really fucking has to) then i'll be under 500 cals tomorrow. and i'll have to do it again the next day. and maybe the next. i don't think i could handle the intensity of the ana boot camp, but if anyone has any tips on some variation thereof, i'd be much obliged.

i'll attempt a longer post tomorrow, when i'm going crazy with hunger and eyeing the fridge like it's a shirtless hugh jackman and i'm ready to pounce.

xoxo, rubes